EVERYONE I HAVE OFFICIALLY DIED OKAY SO i was in walmart singing softly to the “gaston” song from beauty and the beast so i did the whole “when i was a lad i ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large and now that i’m grown i eat five dozen eggs so i’m roughly the size of a barge” and this guy next to me covered in tattoos and piercing and a massive mohawk adds on quietly under his breath “no one fights like gaston”
- reads book: *favourite character dies*
- me: maybe if i read this again he won't die this time
my physics teacher told us a joke today
three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with. What do they do?
They throw one cigarette over board and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter
A CIGARETTE LIGHTER
I ACTUALLY GET IT OH MY GOD YES